Necessity
by thekerosenesecret
Summary: Harvey had been expecting the breakdown. Harvey knew his associate was going through hell. And Harvey was hellbent on being there for him when it happened. *BROMANCE* (There's maybe 3 "bad words")


It was the absolute worst dream ever.

Worse than reruns of his parents dying, or Harvey in the hospital, or even that girl from the Ring showing up in his bathroom.

Until it wasn't a dream anymore.

He was standing in the middle of Jessica Pearson's office. That itself was a bad sign. And surrounding him were the banes of his existence, save for a few people.

Speechless and eyes glazed over, he scanned the room filled with everyone in the entirety of the galaxy that knew his secret.

Each person shouting over one another, some threats and some just angry, but the general message was clear: Mike Ross was scum of the earth, and they wanted him gone.

And amidst the shouting and name-calling, Mike Ross felt like shit.

He had, from the absolute very beginning, known he should have walked away. Just picked up the pot, explain he was not Rick Sorkin, and go. But he didn't. And now, he had to face the consequences.

He had known, from the very beginning, that this was all his fault.

He had, from the very beginning, felt the guilt of putting Harvey and Donna's lives at stake, and for ruining Rachel Zane's life, and for lying to his Grammy, and most of all, for believing in something he was not.

But the collective yelling of every single person who could have put him behind bars was too much. It broke him inside to hear what he'd been thinking all along- he was a burden to everyone, and an absolute disgrace to humanity. He put up a strong front, but every single time he walked through the doors to Pearson Specter Litt, he felt like he was being socked in the gut. The sinking feeling in his stomach had been permanent for the past few months, and he couldn't sleep thinking of how much risk his life involved.

And he wanted to say sorry. He wanted to scream apologies for having wasted his education away and for throwing away his opportunity at an honest life and for going so far with being a fraud that there was just no turning back anymore. He wanted everyone to know that he was grateful for having people who stood by him when they should have just thrown him under the bus years ago. But most of all, he wanted them to stop making him feel like his only solution was to throw himself off the building.

But he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. He opened and closed it like and fish, too overwhelmed and numb to vocalize any of his thoughts. And then, closing his eyes, he put his head in his hands, and began to cry. Loud, gross, outright child-like sobs in the middle of Jessica Pearson's office. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't care anymore. It felt right. It felt long overdue. And best of all, it had no impact on the apparently stone-cold and heartless crowd of haters. If anything, it irritated them further.

And sometime, in the middle of the crossfire and his sobs and the world crumbling down around him, he felt the strong hand of Harvey Specter press gently against his lower back. He _felt_ Harvey speak to the "mob", and heard a slight reduction in their volume, and then felt his feet move in the direction he was guided, rooted only by the weight of Harvey's hand on his back.

Much like the puppy he was analogized to, he had thrust every ounce of trust in Harvey the moment he had acquired the job. And he trusted, till today, that Harvey would steer him right, literally and figuratively. He went where Harvey lead-up some stairs, into some elevators, through some doors and finally felt the cool New York breeze- all while bawling away, reminiscent of a baby whose candy had been snatched by a bitchy 6-year-old.

"Mike, come on. You're a grown-ass man, snap out of it."

There was no bite. There was no actual conviction. There was just Harvey's inexplicable need to say something _so very Harvey_ just because. But Harvey had been expecting the breakdown. Harvey knew his associate was going through hell. And Harvey was hellbent on being there for him when it happened.

Mike tried to say "I'm so sorry, Harvey" although, with his body racked with sobs it came out as more of a desperate, incomprehensible screech of "I-I-l s-s sy-y-y Ha-a-ve-eyyy", something Harvey decided to ignore.

"The view is great from up here," he said, gesturing to the roof, "and it's the absolute best place to clear your head. And I think you've got a lot of stuff up there in your mega-brain that needs clearing."

And then it was silent, save for the sounds of Mike's crying, which subsided over time, giving it one final sniffle and pulling his head out of his hands, red eyes finally scanning the breathtaking view to find Harvey leaning against the railing with his eyes closed.

"I'm so so sorry, Harvey," this time audible and clear. Mike knows Harvey's heard it because his eyes immediately snap open to meet Mike's guilt-ridden ones.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, you dipshit." But Mike isn't going to let this one go. If he's going to pour his emotions out, and if he's actually going to get a response from Harvey, he's going to pour out every ounce of sentiment.

"You gave me everything. I owe you everything. And I ruined your life, while taking the security, friendship and mentorship you gave me. I'm selfish, I'm an ass, and you're just stupid for not throwing me out. You're my everything, Harvey. You gave me who I am, and you gave me this life I'd always imagined, you made my dreams come true, you gave me a family. And all I gave you was the life of trying to save my ass every single day. And I'm really really sorry," his voice wavering towards the end, another ocean's worth of tears threatening to fall. He didn't know if he had really said all he wanted to, but he felt like the message had been clear.

And so he looked up. To hear a response. To receive a nod of acknowledgement. Anything.

Okay, maybe not _anything._

He wasn't really prepared to find Harvey standing less than an arm's length away from him, and he definitely wasn't prepared for the odd combination of an amused smirk, and guilt-wracked look in his eyes.

He was even less prepared to be folded into a hug by Harvey Freaking Specter, his chin resting on Harvey's shoulder, and Harvey holding onto him as though for dear life.

And in an almost inaudible whisper:

"Do you know how much it wrenches my heart and tears me apart when I see you cry? It's like watching my little brother be defeated by his own demons, and it literally makes me ache. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, right up there with Jessica and Donna, and I wouldn't give you up for the world, okay? We're going to get through this shit together, and you're going to live to fight another day, and everything will be fine. And no matter what, I'm here for you. You got that?"

Mike had never understood Harvey's ability to always say the right thing, but every word Mike had just heard made him feel a little bit stronger and lot bit lighter. Like winning was a possibility. Like maybe ( _make that definitely)_ there _was_ an actual way out of this mess of a life. Like maybe everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't say any of this, so he simply held onto Harvey tighter and relished in the fact that he had a big brother to beat up those horrible bullies for him.

And when they finally let each other go, straightened out their suits and composed themselves, the understanding that had always been there was much clearer. No one messes with Mike Ross without coming after Harvey Specter. Harvey really did consider him family. And family means no one gets left behind. And he knew that Harvey wasn't going to leave him behind.


End file.
